Planet New Year

SHARP

2010-01-08T12:09:00.006+08:00

If I were in an alternate universe, I'm sure I'd have a lot more to say about 2010 but as I begin the 2nd week of January I realize there's nothing much worth mentioning. I sit at home, take long naps, see people occasionally and indulge in rich, fattening foods (OH HAI THIGHS). Not exactly the stuff blog-hoppers would read- though I might stand corrected. That being said, the numbers don't mean squat to me.

Back to the main point; this new decade will either be a clean slate or the death of me (Hoping for the former...) Depending on the outcome of my test results this coming March. Pressure piling up is being countered by my...not-really-wanting-to-care attitude. I did the dance, now let me take off my shoes and sleep on the couch. Cool? Cool.

So, what about my resolutions? Well, I don't really have any...except for...nah, don't have any. I can't force change onto myself. It backfires 9 times out of 10. Resolutions are undeniably out of the question. I'm pretty sure I can (AND WILL) change for the better without the help of a list.

Bets for 2010: World Cup will knock our cheap white socks off, we will cause another religion-related controversy ('cause we haven't really learned our lesson just yet), I will become malas, new & improved weather(!), some new fad will take over the scene, more kemalasan, less socializing and more sleazy music on my playlist. Top notch!

Hardest decision of my life so far

2009-12-18T01:30:00.006+08:00

No more singing for me. Not anymore.

I'm not as half as interesting as I would like to be

2009-12-14T23:48:00.009+08:00

Twelve o'clock. Muted TV, check. Horizontal position on the couch, check. Glasses, check. Endless tabs of Youtube videos, sigh check.

This is my second week of doing...absolutely nothing. Funny, I didn't think I'd end up so bloody bored so quick. I should get a job. More specifically one that pays. But that would mean waking up at 7, cold showers and bland 4 ringgit lunches. I'll start January. Yes, January, I promise. Pinky promise. Cause we all know pinky promises don't mean squat. Truefaxxxx.

I'm running out of things to distract myself with. Shiny objects don't catch my attention as easily as they used to. My cat doesn't even want to lie under my stinky armpit anymore. Aren't cats supposed to love humid, dark and stinky places? Or have I mistaken cats for cockroaches? Pota(e)to pota(h)to.

My mom wants me to start taking up baking. Her Martha Stewart 'bible' is a bit too anal-y for my taste I'm afraid. Clarified butter? Jebuz. When did normal, run of the mill butter start to go out of (culinary) fashion? And I don't know about you but I find separating egg yolks from egg whites completely unnatural. I MEAN COME ON WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?!

I don't know how I'm going to stand three months of this. I'm terrible at relaxing.

Time To Switch It Up

2009-12-09T16:17:00.003+08:00

No longer do I have to don that ridiculous blue and white public school uniform. (POLYESTER BLEND? In THIS weather? Really now...) No more sleeping in class or dreaded Chemistry pop quizzes. I should feel liberated, but it's more of a bittersweet sentiment. They weren't the best years of my life. I did a lot of growing up. Built walls, tore them down and finally let people in...for tea!

My biggest regret though (Regret is an awfully solemn term but in this case it's inevitable) is not embracing High School when I had the chance. It's all about the attitude, my minions.

It took me a while -5 years- but I got out intact. I would love to go see everyone again but for now I'll slip under the radar and hopefully by the time they see me again next year (TEST RESULTS GAH) they won't be taken aback by my large(r) physique and wild(er) hair.

Capisce?

2009-06-09T17:05:00.001+08:00

Ben Gibbard is King. ALL HAIL.

2009-06-09T16:57:00.004+08:00

You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed.
With a single pillow underneath your single head.
I guess you decided that that old queen was more space than you would need.
Now it's in the alley behind your apartment with a sign that says it's free.

And I hope you have more luck with this than me.

You used to think that someone would come along.
And lay beside you in the space that they belong.
But the other side of the mattress and box springs stayed like new.
What's the point of holding onto what never gets used?

Other than a sick desire for self abuse.

And I try not to worry, but you've got me terrified.
It's like we're in some kind of hurry to say goodbye, to say goodbye, to say goodbye.

You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed.
You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed.

(It's a song about giving up on love after hopelessly trying to search for it, in case you haven't caught on)

Minute; But Like 'My-Newt'

2009-06-06T22:48:00.006+08:00

When something's on my mind, it skips. Like a broken record. There's writers block, and there's this thing that I have.

I think about things in full sentences. From the first capital letter right down to the period. Normally, I go over these sentences and try to figure out why I even thought of it in the first place. But that's just about where it ends. It's like those words don't want to end up on paper (or blogs, for that matter). They just want to sleep and prance around in the confinements of my average sized brain.

Instead, when I write, I end up spewing out 'substitute' words that belong on cliche suicide notes. It's pathetic.

It's messing with my head. I'm incapable of voicing out my emotions. That takes guts. I'm already lacking in that area as it is. Besides, people don't want to hear my thoughts. (Unless they're getting paid to, but that's irrelevant)

So what's there left to do? Just keep it in, and pretend that it's not bubbling into rage?
Or try to fish it out and end up with countless of meaningless posts such as this one?

MALAS, Y'KNW?!

2009-06-03T19:12:00.009+08:00

What's that word?

It's that word that describes how you feel when you suspect that the people around you are using you; and don't do a good job of hiding it, might I add. The word that was made for people who comply to every petty favor asked from them (asking for favors is just a subtle form of ordering people around, don't you think?) but don't get thanked. You know...that feeling you get when your slip ups are 'put under a microscope' -as they say- but your efforts to make things right just go unnoticed?

Hold on, I think I remember. The word's 'underappreciated'. You could even call it taken for granted, if that concept's easier to grasp.

Cheat Sheet

2009-05-29T11:37:00.002+08:00

(image via Ray Fenwick)

I like 'em young & English:

2009-05-26T22:55:00.008+08:00

Kaya Scodelario

Fairies In My Head

2009-05-26T15:07:00.007+08:00

Things I thought about during Accounts paper today:

My minor wedgie just turned into a major wedgie. Talk about perfect timing...

My favorite number is now 2. You can never go wrong with the number 2. Well...unless you're in the toilet. ANYWAY

If Accounts were a character from Crash Bandicoot it'd be Dr. Neo Cortex. SPIN ATTACK!

La la la this goes here, that goes there. Oooh LOLZ I made a cute little pattern!

MY PAPER IS GOING TO BE FEATURED IN FAILBLOG. FML.

"Come back from Californiaaaaa, all of us in Floridaaaa are starved for your attentiooonnnn..." - California, Copeland.

Heath Lejar . Hehehehehe. WHA?!TENMINUTESLEFT?

sine cosine cosec cotangent....WAIT THIS ISN'T ADDMATHS

"Can't read my can't read my no he can't read my poker face..." - Poker Face, Ladywhat?pants?

Hello little ant, are you trying to get back to your little ant colony? Aren't you a cutie, yes you are oh yes you are...DIEEEEEEEEEE! FEEL THE WRATH OF MY 2B PENCIL!

I need a hair cut. No, rephrase. I need new hair.

This happened two hours into the test. It was hard. You get the idea.

Passing Down Wisdom To My Sister Part I

2009-05-23T23:45:00.008+08:00

Me: Children are demons, Sahira.
Sahira: Lets assume that's true. What happens when they become adults?
Me: They gradually change into demons who believe that they're saints lah. Apa lagi?

I don't really follow fashion news but...

2009-05-23T10:24:00.010+08:00

HOW AWESOME IS THIS KEN DOLL BY GARETH PUGH???!!! *faints*

This is why it's so complex

2009-05-22T23:49:00.005+08:00

Is it possible to love one (and only one) person for the rest of your life?

What if you find yourself loving more than two people at a time?

How do you know if it's love or lust? I mean, how do you REALLY know?

How long should you wait before you give up on someone? Is it even sensible to wait for someone for a long period of time?

Is it better to love than to be loved?

True/False: Is love the same with everyone?

Why do people who fall in love become so annoyingly intense?

If you love someone, why do you keep on lying to them?

If it's the best feeling in the world, shouldn't be the easiest thing too?

If everyone's looking for love then how come there are a lot of lonely people?

Theoretically, when we know that we've found the right person, what keeps us from telling them how we feel?

Why do I find it so hard to believe that there's someone out there patient enough to be with me? God knows I'm a handful.

Do we HAVE to get married? LOLZ.

What if it doesn't work out? What happens then?

What if the next one doesn't work out too? Do you just sleep it off (open to your own interpretation) and move on?

Can you force yourself to love someone?

Why do we always want the ones we can't get?

If you love and leave, does that make you less of a person?

How far are you willing to go to find love?

Don't we get enough love from our friends and family?

How do you distinguish the fake 'I love yous' from the real ones?

Will it ever get easier?

When it hurts you & drains you & crumples your heart do you stay and work it out?

Why do we find love in the strangest (not to mention the most obvious) places?

If we can't even answer these simple questions, how will we ever know what love really is?

5 & Alive Again

2009-05-22T19:49:00.001+08:00

You wanna know why I love my friends?

Because they're not afraid to act like five year olds, kick off their shoes and start playing tag in the middle of a busy park. For an hour and a half. All 7 of us. Quite possibly the oldest kids there. I'm in no rush to grow up. If you ask me, kids have more fun.... besides, kids don't have to deal with additional mathematics. (PAPER 2! D'OH)

Oh and yeah, the sweat was totally worth it.

Tag, you're it. I have to study right about nowish.

In 'semangat' mode

2009-05-22T16:32:00.000+08:00

Mmm...Food Porn OYEHZZZ...

Heading off to OldTown with a bunch of insects in 10 minutes. Must get my daily fix of coffee + restock my secret M&M stash, ASAHP. Exam week has taken its toll on me. But fret not, I am still alive and breathing. God is most merciful.

#1

2009-05-22T15:42:00.001+08:00

GREETINGS EARTHLING! Here I am, eating stale biscuits and trying to figure out why I renewed blogger account when I can't even handle my Tumblr.

Don't erase my Tumblr from that precious little PC of yours just yet. I'm still an avid Tumblr-ette(?) and I just can't seem to give up on its randomness. I made ifmindshadtoes in hopes that it'll set off my writing bug again. (Another product of wishful thinking...)

On a lighter note, It somehow saddens me to think that the only form of spontaneity in my life is a blog renewal... sigh.