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January 08, 2010 @ 12:09 PM
SHARP
If I were in an alternate universe, I'm sure I'd have a lot more to say about 2010 but as I begin the 2nd week of January I realize there's nothing much worth mentioning. I sit at home, take long naps, see people occasionally and indulge in rich, fattening foods (OH HAI THIGHS). Not exactly the stuff blog-hoppers would read- though I might stand corrected. That being said, the numbers don't mean squat to me.

Back to the main point; this new decade will either be a clean slate or the death of me (Hoping for the former...) Depending on the outcome of my test results this coming March. Pressure piling up is being countered by my...not-really-wanting-to-care attitude. I did the dance, now let me take off my shoes and sleep on the couch. Cool? Cool.

So, what about my resolutions? Well, I don't really have any...except for...nah, don't have any. I can't force change onto myself. It backfires 9 times out of 10. Resolutions are undeniably out of the question. I'm pretty sure I can (AND WILL) change for the better without the help of a list.

Bets for 2010: World Cup will knock our cheap white socks off, we will cause another religion-related controversy ('cause we haven't really learned our lesson just yet), I will become malas, new & improved weather(!), some new fad will take over the scene, more kemalasan, less socializing and more sleazy music on my playlist. Top notch!


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December 18, 2009 @ 1:30 AM
Hardest decision of my life so far

No more singing for me. Not anymore.


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December 14, 2009 @ 11:48 PM
I'm not as half as interesting as I would like to be


Twelve o'clock. Muted TV, check. Horizontal position on the couch, check. Glasses, check. Endless tabs of Youtube videos, sigh check.

This is my second week of doing...absolutely nothing. Funny, I didn't think I'd end up so bloody bored so quick. I should get a job. More specifically one that pays. But that would mean waking up at 7, cold showers and bland 4 ringgit lunches. I'll start January. Yes, January, I promise. Pinky promise. Cause we all know pinky promises don't mean squat. Truefaxxxx.

I'm running out of things to distract myself with. Shiny objects don't catch my attention as easily as they used to. My cat doesn't even want to lie under my stinky armpit anymore. Aren't cats supposed to love humid, dark and stinky places? Or have I mistaken cats for cockroaches? Pota(e)to pota(h)to.


My mom wants me to start taking up baking. Her Martha Stewart 'bible' is a bit too anal-y for my taste I'm afraid. Clarified butter? Jebuz. When did normal, run of the mill butter start to go out of (culinary) fashion? And I don't know about you but I find separating egg yolks from egg whites completely unnatural. I MEAN COME ON WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?!

I don't know how I'm going to stand three months of this. I'm terrible at relaxing.


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December 09, 2009 @ 4:17 PM
Time To Switch It Up
No longer do I have to don that ridiculous blue and white public school uniform. (POLYESTER BLEND? In THIS weather? Really now...) No more sleeping in class or dreaded Chemistry pop quizzes. I should feel liberated, but it's more of a bittersweet sentiment. They weren't the best years of my life. I did a lot of growing up. Built walls, tore them down and finally let people in...for tea!

My biggest regret though (Regret is an awfully solemn term but in this case it's inevitable) is not embracing High School when I had the chance. It's all about the attitude, my minions.

It took me a while -5 years- but I got out intact. I would love to go see everyone again but for now I'll slip under the radar and hopefully by the time they see me again next year (TEST RESULTS GAH) they won't be taken aback by my large(r) physique and wild(er) hair.


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June 09, 2009 @ 5:05 PM
Capisce?



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@ 4:57 PM
Ben Gibbard is King. ALL HAIL.


You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed.
With a single pillow underneath your single head.
I guess you decided that that old queen was more space than you would need.
Now it's in the alley behind your apartment with a sign that says it's free.

And I hope you have more luck with this than me.

You used to think that someone would come along.
And lay beside you in the space that they belong.
But the other side of the mattress and box springs stayed like new.
What's the point of holding onto what never gets used?

Other than a sick desire for self abuse.

And I try not to worry, but you've got me terrified.
It's like we're in some kind of hurry to say goodbye, to say goodbye, to say goodbye.

You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed.
You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed.




(It's a song about giving up on love after hopelessly trying to search for it, in case you haven't caught on)

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June 06, 2009 @ 10:48 PM
Minute; But Like 'My-Newt'
When something's on my mind, it skips. Like a broken record. There's writers block, and there's this thing that I have.

I think about things in full sentences. From the first capital letter right down to the period. Normally, I go over these sentences and try to figure out why I even thought of it in the first place. But that's just about where it ends. It's like those words don't want to end up on paper (or blogs, for that matter). They just want to sleep and prance around in the confinements of my average sized brain.

Instead, when I write, I end up spewing out 'substitute' words that belong on cliche suicide notes. It's pathetic.

It's messing with my head. I'm incapable of voicing out my emotions. That takes guts. I'm already lacking in that area as it is. Besides, people don't want to hear my thoughts. (Unless they're getting paid to, but that's irrelevant)

So what's there left to do? Just keep it in, and pretend that it's not bubbling into rage?
Or try to fish it out and end up with countless of meaningless posts such as this one?


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June 03, 2009 @ 7:12 PM
MALAS, Y'KNW?!

What's that word?

It's that word that describes how you feel when you suspect that the people around you are using you; and don't do a good job of hiding it, might I add. The word that was made for people who comply to every petty favor asked from them (asking for favors is just a subtle form of ordering people around, don't you think?) but don't get thanked. You know...that feeling you get when your slip ups are 'put under a microscope' -as they say- but your efforts to make things right just go unnoticed?


Hold on, I think I remember. The word's 'underappreciated'. You could even call it taken for granted, if that concept's easier to grasp.


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May 29, 2009 @ 11:37 AM
Cheat Sheet


(image via Ray Fenwick)


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May 26, 2009 @ 10:55 PM
I like 'em young & English:
Kaya Scodelario








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